dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
