we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
