Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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