do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
