i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
