I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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