Will you blow on my dice?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
