He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
