For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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