i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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