It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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