it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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