you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
