Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
