You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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