Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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