i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
