I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i dont even know how to be here
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
