I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize