she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
two words...techno handjob
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
