So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
