Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
