i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
