matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
