He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
