GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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