Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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