you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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