well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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