A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm at about main and main street
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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