How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
