Plan B is the new Plan A
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
