You're my little dorito
Will you blow on my dice?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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