I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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