It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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