Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
