I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
