i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So much Jack, so little girl.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
