But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
