I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
