yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
