We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
