so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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