I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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