I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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