at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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