Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
