Just cropdusted the office
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize