Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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