The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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