ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
