I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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