I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
