it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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