Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
