The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
