So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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