I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She told me I should be a condom model.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
