I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
