You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
